just read back messages and entries from years ago between eric and me, and started crying even thinking about ever losing him. i hate hate hate thinking about how much it hurt when we’ve drifted apart before and how it’s not impossible that it’ll happen again so whyyy do i do it when there’s no reason to. i guess it’s my way of trying to protect myself, but i need to focus on how perfect now is. it’s not even because he’s my boyfriend. he’s my best friend and has been longer than any other person i’ve met in middle or high school and i wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t helped me through my toughest times, even if he doesn’t know it. but it terrifies me that whenever anything becomes too intense i freak out and detach myself because i don’t want to burden other people with all my issues. and yet i’ve never been happier.   separating my family life from school and friends has been working better so far. hopefully it continues this way. 

Everything sucks

reallyyummymuffins:

said the moodswingy teenager to herself as her exasperated mother sighed in the background, baffled by her daughter’s persistent and pervasive purposelessness.